Wonderfully described definitions

Wonderfully described definitions…….
definition of cigarette
CIGARETTE:

A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

definition of marriage
MARRIAGE:

It’s an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

definition of lecture
LECTURE:

An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

definition of conference
CONFERENCE:

The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

definition  of  compromise
COMPROMISE:

The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

definition of TEARS
TEARS:

The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!


definition of conference room
CONFERENCE ROOM:

A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

definition of ecstasy
ECSTASY:

A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

definition of classic
CLASSIC:

A book
which people praise,
but never read

definition of  smile
SMILE:

A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

definition of  office
OFFICE:

A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

definition of yawn
YAWN:

The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth


definition of experience
EXPERIENCE:

The name
men give
to their
Mistakes




definition of   diplomat
DIPLOMAT:

A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip


definition of optimist
OPTIMIST:

A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”


definition of miser
MISER:

A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

definition  of  father
FATHER:

A banker
provided by
nature



definition of boss
BOSS:

Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

definition of politician
POLITICIAN:

One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

definition of doctor
DOCTOR:

A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!

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